The Quest for a New House
by bionicleguy
Summary: Malon and Link get married. But Malon don't like Links house. So she sends him on a quest to build one. But Link encounters crazy, stupid, randomness on the way. Ch. 2 up
1. Marriage

Author= Hello Readers and welcome to my 2nd fanfic. Here is some background info for it. It is a humor fanfic, OoT, link is trying to build a house, and if you don't like the idea of Malon and Link married then don't flame me because that's what's in it. And if someone named Bus comes in somewhere, its ok it's just the little voice inside my head. On with the story.

Chapter 1: Marriage

Disclaimer: I own nothing but me and Bus.

The scene opens up with wedding bells being heard and Link and Saria getting married. Isn't it so beautiful? Nope. Because little did they know was that Link is stupid. So Link picks her up and says, "YAY I'm married to Zelda!" Saria slaps him and files a divorce.

The same things happen again except it's with Zelda. But Link being the idiot that he is says, "YAY I'm married to Saria!" So Zelda slaps him and files a divorce. "What is it with girls slapping me?"

This is the next marriage and no people are there because everyone is tired of it. This time its Link and Ruto(I have no clue why their getting married). So Link says Nabooru's name this time and gets slapped and divorced.

The same thing happens and blahblah blahblah blahblah blahblah. It's with Malon this time. But something different happens...

Bus= the story ends YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

Author= no the story doesn't end. Why would it end?

Bus=poo

Author=anyway back to the story

...Link says Malon's name and he starts freaking out like he's going to be slapped and drops her and hides. "Umm, Link, What's wrong with you?" "Aren't you going to slap me?" "Um no" "REALLY" "yes" "REALLY REALLY" "YES REALLY REALLY!!" "Ok then" When Link picked her back up she slapped him. "What was that for?" "I felt like it." "Oh, ok then."

So he takes her to his tree house and she says, "OMG we have to live in that thing?" "What's wrong with it?" "One, it's a tree, two, you have to climb to get in, and three, IT'S A TREE!!" "So I can't fix it." "No but you can build a new one." "I don't know how." "No but he does." She points to Tim Taylor off of tool time. "NO I DON'T WANT HELP FROM HIM. I'VE SEEN HIS SHOWS." "Oh, ok then" Points back to Tim Taylor and he disappears. "Ok now this is where I want the house built" She pulls out a map of Hyrule, which takes up all the room in the house, and points to a random spot. "How about here?" "No that's where that pea hat is. How about here?" He points to his house. "That's this house were in." "Oh, ok then my work here is done." "We're putting the house here." She points to the small forest near the entrance to Lake Hylia. "Ok fine. I'll start to get the stuff I need tomorrow."

Author=This is the end of chapter one. I know it sucks but it WILL get better.

I only wrote this cause I needed something that led up to link building the house.

So REVIEW PLEASE!!!


	2. Location

Author= welcome back to A Quest for a New House. If you are reading this it means you actually liked the first chapter and continued on or you just felt like continuing cause you were bored. Any way I would like to thank Chrae Neko for reviewing, it makes me happy that someone likes my stories. NOW ON WITH THE STORY!

**CHAPTER 2: Location**

Disclaimer: I own this and this and this and that thing over there but I don't own Zelda or anything else in this fic.

Tomorrow morning

Link is sitting on his bed eating 20 popsicles at a time. Malon comes in and says, "I thought you said you were going to get the supplies today?" "I am getting the supplies right now."

He takes all the popsicle sticks he had eaten from last night and this morning and builds a little house out of them. And he sets it on the spot on the map Malon had chosen for the house. "Well I'm done I put a house right on the spot you said." "I meant build a real house on the spot." "But that spot is to small for a real house you'd need a way bigger map." "I DON'T WANT THE HOUSE ON THE MAP; I WANT THE HOUSE WHERE THE MAP SAYS IT IS!!" "The map talks?!?!" He puts his ear up to the map. "I don't hear anything." Malon sighs, "Sigh."

Author = you don't say sigh you just sigh

Bus= what's wrong with saying sigh? I mean that's how I sigh. Sigh.

Author = anyways back to the fic.

So Malon, tired of trying to explain something to Link, takes Link to the spot where she wants the house built. "This is where I want the house built." "Ohh, why didn't you just say so?" "I DID!" "Oh" "Yeah oh." Malon sighs, "Sigh"

Author= I told you not to say sigh.

Malon= well you're the one writing this

Author= oh yeah, back to the fic.

"Ok tomorrow I will go and get an architect, ok?" "Ok" Malon thinks, Whoa Link just said a big word like he knew what he was talking about.

Author=that is the end of chapter 2. I know it's pretty short but I'll try to make them longer. If you don't like this story just say you don't like it or give me constructive criticism but NO FLAMES!! But PLEASE REVIEW!!


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